Crash Course Gender

I got a question today on tumblr that said this:

“hey, can you explain your genders to me? I don’t know much about other genders and I really don’t ever want to offended or hurt anyone with my ignorance, so would you mind explaining? sorry to bother. I hope your day will be/has been as lovely as you”

And I wrote a huge response, and then looked it over and decided to reupload it here too:

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You’re totally good. I’ve been thinking about gender a lot recently, so hopefully what I say sounds halfway coherent.

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As a preface, I’m only me, and this is about my gender identity/ies. I don’t speak for anyone else in the nonbinary spectrum or trans* community.

  • Genderqueer– As I understand it, this word means someone whose gender either shifts frequently, or who identifies outside of the gender binary (man or woman is the gender binary).
  • Nonbinary– All of my genders except bigender are nonbinary. That means that there are days when I feel like the words “man” and “woman” are completely obsolete in the context of me and my body. Sometimes, even nonbinary doesn’t fit, and then I’m agender.
  • Agender– When I’m agender, I don’t identify as any gender. I’d rather not be called “her/she/herself” just as much as I’d rather not be called “he/him/himself,” or “hir/hirself/hirs.”*
    *Please note that there are more nonbinary pronoun sets, but I won’t list them all because there are dozens or hundreds of variations.

    Usually I stay away from situations where people divide by genders (like gym class or class projects) and people who’ll refer to me in the context of being a woman or a girl, or having female anatomy. (because I pass as cis with everyone I interact with physically).
  • Bigender– This refers to the polar opposites of my gender identification. As my gender shifts a lot, it’s rare that I’m bigender. However, there are days when I feel completely masculine, and like I want everyone to see me as a man or a boy.
    And then there are days when I feel decidedly feminine, and wearing my uniform school skirt doesn’t bother me, and I usually attempt makeup on days like this. These days, I want everyone to see me as a woman or a girl.
    These days are decidedly rare for me, and usually I’ll go a month or more without being either- and then one day BAM! I’m back in binary mode for a day, or a month, or a week.
  • Genderfluid– If I was going to describe my entire gender identity with one word, it would be hard, but I’d say this one fits best. Being genderfluid is exactly what it sounds like- my gender is fluid, and shifts around a lot. How I identify and present myself also shifts a lot, and sometimes it’s really frustrating trying to decide who I am.
On gender in general- gender is a really frustrating topic for me, because it’s so difficult to pin down. In my day to day life, like I said, I pass as a cis woman. Butch, yes, and often people think I’m lesbian because of my short haircut and my lil friend who IS into girls, who likes to hug and cuddle and stuff. I’ve not talked about my gender at length on this blog (or my other blog) before, mainly because a lot of people I know followed me then.
So that’s a crash course in my various genders. There’s a lot more (I’ve got two different blogs for talking about it) but if I wanted to encompass all my gender related thoughts on this post, you wouldn’t reach the end for a week or more. Hope this helped, and always feel free to come ask if there’s something you think I can clarify for you! ❤
~Terrance
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